FIND MY NEW BLOG (=

This shit is old <3

They hatin' on us, and you should know why

He's my sunshine in the rain, my tylenol when I'm in pain, let me tell you what he means to me

Happy Anni Nicholaaaas ♥ I'm laying here in bed, typing this on my phone .. LOL, last night was good beb, all of ours misunderstandings' are now crystal clear for the both of us. I'm so incredibly lucky to be blessed w.not only your love, but your patience as well. Nobody has ever taken the time to sit me down, and reassure me abt certain things the way you do. Nobody has ever made me feel the way you make me feel, as cliche as that sounds, it's 110% real deal baby. I love you Nick, I can't find an even deeper phrase for the way I feel abt you, so " I love you " is just gonna have to suffice for now. I love everything you do for me, especially the little things. The way you text me good morning, the way you won't allow myself to think I'm ugly in any shape, or form. The way you make me feel secure w.you. There's so much more beb. (= I have to go bc my lola is calling me to eat.. LOL, but just know this Nick, I WOULD NOT be capable of THIS much happiness if you weren't in my life, if I had never " stalked you ". I simply wouldn't have this much love and joy in me if it were for YOU. In a world, where I felt everything was being taken away, God gave a little back. That " little " turned into something I can't even describe. He gave and blessed me with you. You filled, completed, and became so much apart of me, and I'm not ever letting that go Realtalk. Happy Anni, I love you Nick.

OMW HOME

Sometimes, when I feel myself falling too deep, I tend to back up. I take 100 steps back because I wanna avoid hurting myself. When I meet someone like you, I mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the worst so I don't end up paying for it in the end. I hate being weak, and depending on somebody. I don't wanna have that in my life, and for a long time, I didn't. It was me, myself, & I , and a lot of people misunderstood that as being selfish. Maybe it was being selfish, but I became so fed up w.worrying, and caring abt everyone and everything but myself. Even if I avoided getting hurt for so long, I realized it started getting more difficult to connect w.people. friends, and especially boys. I just wanted to keep to myself, where my emotions were always under control. Until I met you, of course. You put me on an emotional rollercoaster, its overwhelming at times bc I'm feeling everything .. happy, sad, mad, upset, loved, lost, just EVERYTHING all at once. &It took ONE person to cause all this, and it's you. I don't mean this in a negative way .. I'm saying you have become such a huge part of my life, soul, and heart that every little thing you say or do has a positive or negative affect on me. There is so much emotion behind my " I love you's " it scares me sometimes. How could I feel all this so quickly when I spent more than half my life CONTROLLING what I feel. But this? I can't control this, you have my heart on lock, and I'm not asking for the key back. When we fight, I try and act cold as if I don't care, but its only bc that's how I'm used to being. I don't expect your words or feelings to hurt me, but they do. That's when I realized you're more than another guy. When we fight, when you let me know I've hurt you, my heart feels heavier, my stomach feels uneasy, and my eyes begin to tear up. Only YOU could make my heart feel this bc family put aside, YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW I CARE ABT. I love the way you make me feel, I love the tears ished for you bc I know they are only for you, I love how my heart races for you, knowing its never gonna slow down and I love our fighting bc you're the only one who has the ability to make me feel ALL of this. I was an emotion-less wreck, avoiding everything that made me feel out of my element. & You? You broke down my walls, you're taking a risk w.me, and yes I'm terrified, but let's be scared together. Let's stay together, be together, and just fill eachother's days w.different emotions. I love you Nicholas, don't doubt it, don't question it, just hear me out, and accept it like I have. I'm giving you my all, and I'm putting my all into this. You're trying your very hardest, baby I know, just be patient w.me, and ill make it more than worth it. I'm so deeply invested in this .. I'm not gonna give you up, I'm not gonna give this up. Mahal kita ang puso ko, KingN <3